As usual, its been a hell of a run-up to Valentine’s Day.
I divorced what had been a good client, and a fun business run by clueless oafs at the very top with a trickle down of Daddy’s venture cap to build with.
In other words, I saw it coming all along.
It just didn’t have to be in the middle of the biggest snow storm to hit the city in twenty years. With serious shitloads of snow befuddling the decision making abilities and cramping the check issuing capacities of old school companies across the region, getting dumped instead of getting paid isn’t a happy bounce into the I-don’t-have-a-Valentine weekend.
It wasn’t FIN, by the way, so don’t worry. This project continues, with positive results I might add. Our little social media experiment is drawing some interesting attention to those little kitchen fuckers, and that’s what I get paid for.
They pissed me off, though, obviously– “fuckers” wasn’t a misprint back there.
I mean, they’ve all taken the “warts-and-all” philosophy we started with and pushed the envelope. They’re getting away with it, though, and to their credit– they shred the owner’s sister for being a major slut (well, she is) on the blog feeds, Facebook, everything… Well, I report to the owner, and he laughed so hard when he read this stuff! He told me he’d put her on the menu, and guests could have a turn in the walk-in with her for a hundred bucks–his own sister! Gross! Before that meeting, I thought I was getting canned for sure.
Of course, it had to be the cute one who went digitally postal first. I didn’t even read what he wrote until he was taking a few well deserved days off from the restaurant. I mean, I went from getting wet at the thought of this guy cutting up the million dollar tuna to wanting to gouge his eyes out with a fork the next time I see him in one sentence.
o thanks for the early Valentine, Henry. Mommy-fucking-Adrienne was just trying to make sure you still had a job when you finally got back from your latest crack binge… er, I mean, personal time. Asshole!
I stopped in FIN last night anyway, because I like that cute little bartender and she makes wicked drinks. And Chef doesn’t come out front too much early in the evenings, so I can drink free without having to eat any of his shit. The Valentine’s special Agave Kiss was getting my mind off things, drinking alone, until I saw her nuzzling another girl at the far end of the bar during a lull. I got all flushed, and afterward, my buzz walking home in the snow wasn’t quite as planned.
And then of course my mom’s thing hit the paper this week, and the one guy at Fin who’s got a handle on the world outside picked right up on it. I suppose I was asking for it, taking on a foodie client, but I haven’t come back yet with my party line– I mean, fuck, she’ll be here for nine weeks, I’ll have to bring her in once.
Look out.
7 Responses to “Warts and all.”
Thank for stopping by last night. We closed the bar well after four in the morning. Dean and Georgina were dancing on the bar, Chef even loosened up and started singing quite loudly. He left with some
hot little mama named Beatrice. I’m sorry you missed Fin crew getting down. All of a sudden you dashed out of there and were nowhere to be found. It was an incredible night of music, drinks and all around good times. Kool Aid was cracking us up with her silly questions. Henry was glued to the corner seat at the bar pretty much all night. I kept feeding him truffles and creamy kisses. Thankfully, Slutgela was a no show. She picked up a geriatric patron and left.
OH yeah…about the girl. She’s a foreign exchange student by the name of Catarina. She’s a beautiful woman, inside and out, who happens to be in love
with me, and I like the idea. So after a few, I kissed her, and it was sweet as sugar. That’s all.
Wow! How did I miss that? Oh yeah, I was slaving away in the heat and steam of the kitchen! I think I might need stitches for that slice I took on the knuckle. Fuck it! Adrienne has some ESplainin’ to do! Why didn’t you tell us? I thought we were gettin’ tight?
I came home last night and my babysitter was naked on the couch with some dude! Luckily my son was sound asleep, but ew! Now I have to deal with that shit!
WARTS? Adrienne, that is something you should have disclosed first. Where’s your sense of decency? Do I need to visit a doctor?
I think so, henry, I’ve heard they can really help you get off the crack if you want to.
If I were on your crack you wouldn’t want me to get off!
Awwww, wazza a matta pussy cat? Are we playin’ too rough for you?
Hi Dear!
Where have you been?
We miss you!
Come watch the Oscars with us at my apartment.
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